Dancing with the Phantom

I have recently been dancing with the Phantom and not realizing it...Thinking I

Image by pOchAccO_o via Flickr

"should" be "struggling" that the fear was "normal", the possession.the justifying... My instincts off.... then it came...love/forgive him for he knows not what he does....  then the chaoes left  and my real Father came back to me offering his strength and protection... and with His protection my heart could open and I could beam and radiate the lovely juicy feminine that has been longing for expression.   I love this inner connection...I LONG for this inner connection.....Thankyou GOD for the experience regardless of how brief.

how do I stop the struggle?

wow!! the Phantom has become so much more real as I have engaged with that inner aspect of ME! the surrender and the comapssion... a struggle at this point.  It's subtle and really  becoming so much more real and challenging.... surrendering to the surrender?how do I find the place of compassion inside for this inner figure ????  I'll Pray for now......

Image by alicepopkorn ( in and out ) via Flickr

Phantom

From the Phantom to LOVE

The only way out is compassion and LOVE....

I'm letting go into LOVE

Trust..trust myself to fly....let go of what holds me down

trust myself to let go into LOVE...Like in my dream..letting go into the enfolded wings of the archangel Michael.... that trust

I'm in Love with LOVE, I'm in Love with LOVE, I”m in Love with LOVE

HMMMM …...What is fantasy, what is real?

Yes what is reality?

What I allow myself to perceive ...which is many..... and none of them are real....

LOVE is the constant!!!!!

In the openness it is all there and synchronistically it comes...hmmmm...Yes!

Can I open and stay open ….

...at all times....this is the key? Or too much to ask...Or is this a set up?....Love myself..... compassion for myself.... Perfection does not exist in the physical world...in Love it does.. because only in LOVE do all imperfections disappear.....when we are not separate.

Contraction into this “only” reality is limiting , painful...I'm getting it....Let go!!!! Love is....Uniting, compassion is the key that opens the door!!! YES!!!!

I kiss the Phantom because I see his heart...he hides his love to avoid the vulnerability...Thank God I finally see it!!!! He is not the enemy!!!

There is no recipe... Opening and allowing and presence are all that is required... then GRACE envelops me.

All realities are there...LOVE connects them all...

...the LOVE...

it's the sacredness and who can hold the sacredness? I can...Yes I can....it is in me... I feel it.. I know it's been there all along.

And yet it's not rigid at all , it's not “a place”...hmmmm

laugh, fly, giggle...express... all of you all of me....

“mommy ,mommy” I hear...The innocence calls me...my child...hear me.... and I'm in my own place... the boundary and the opening at the same time....I embrace her in me.... An embrace so familiar...all exists there........and that embrace feels like HOME!

 

out of the treadmill or "doing by being"

"Our striving for external Achievements is a projection of a deeper and much more fundamental drive to psychologically complete the birth process and to make a spiritual connection. There is no end to our hunger for external conquests because we cannot get enough of what we do not really want and need"...

Let's see what my journey reveals... bless all and bless me!

feminine rising

Image by Seb Ulysses via Flickr

So I'm feeling the masculine tapping
on my heart...the gentle tapping feels good. I think it is an inner masculine that I long for and yet am afraid of...It's a connection .....It seems there are certain men in my life that trigger this connection and I start to cry..not sadness but an inner movement that is profound and that I haven't been able to let go into.

I feel that "this masculine container" i spoke of before is not external... and I'm not sure it's the Animus either....
this Saturday I journey...My prayer is for God to reveal to me that which is most important for me now.

synchronicities

Since my last post synchronicies abound!!!! I feel the feminine walking beside me asking me to let her in with all her mysteries...I want to but all that is missing is a strong clear masculine to be the container so she may move in me and become all that she in meant to be...soft, strong, juicy wild expressive sensual and graceful.

Shared with Flock - The Social Web Browser
http://flock.com

I am up in the middle of the night..know something called me..Synchronicities are revealing themselves to me.....I'm reading Grof's "when the impossible happens" ..could be the doors of my psyche are just opening and SEEING...Then this expression came to me...written many years ago...as I desended into the shadows... it feels right to share it now.

In The Darkness Gratitude Waits …

A Poem by Angela Ledington-Fischer

As I walk through this

Valley of darkness,

I vaguely hear a whisper.

I notice I am followed

By many dark faces,

Only one is shrouded

By a cloth.

The whisper is no longer heard

Over the raving and the raging

Of the dark faces.

I continue to walk…

Knowing they all follow me.

My legs become weak,

My stomach is knotted

And my heart feels heavier

With every step.

Finally as I feel death closing in,

I turn to face them.

We face each other

In a long silence

That is so loud

It begins to vibrate my entire being.

On my knees

My last bit of strength

Allows an unknown voice.

A song emerges from my soul…

I listen and soon

I hear the voice

Of my own feminine spirit.

She lives! She thrives!

The melody begins to pulse

Through my veins.

And I begin to notice a light…

Far off in the distance…

The whisper begins… again.

It is calling me to the light…

I follow…

And now by my side

Is the shrouded face…

As I approach the light

I see it is merely a small, beautiful candle.

I look to my right

And see the beautiful face of gratitude.

Image via Wikipedia

Her light surrounds and caresses me

With the redemption…

This is her gift.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Say it like you mean it (timesunion.com)